Music Monday - A Writing Sample

The following is an excerpt from a lyric war I did based on the following:

"I'm in love with my own sins." (The American Suitehearts – Fall Out Boy)

***

When I do it, I know it’s wrong. But I love it.

I love it. I hate it. But sometimes, I think a bigger part of me loves it.

My hand, wrapped around the knife, clenches tighter. I’ve been told all my life it’s a sin to hurt myself. My body is supposed to be “a temple.” I’m not supposed to mutilate it. Slice it. Cut it.

But I do it anyway.

The door is locked. I lean against it, knees curled up to my chest. My arm trembles. It’s not the first time I’ll do it, and it won’t be the last. This should feel normal by now. I should be able to just do it. Don’t think. Just do. Think later.

I tell myself I’ll stop when I want to. Every day that passes is deemed the day I’ll finally not do it. But there’s no other way to take away the pain. As the world destroys me, I need to destroy something. And the only thing I can actually destroy is myself.

My eyes close. Metal against flesh. Just a little less space and they’ll meet. And since I’ve done this so many times before, this time, I won’t feel a thing.

The blade sinks into my arm.

I was wrong.

I still feel something.

***

I took this piece of writing and modified it to put it into my novel in verse, Indelible. As an example of what can be inspired, changed, or modified from a lyric war, I've put a sample below.

***

when I do it

I know it’s wrong

but I love it

I love it

I hate it

but sometimes

a bigger part of me

loves it

my hand

grips the knife

I shouldn’t mutilate

my body

slice it

cut it

but I do anyway

the door is locked

I lean against it

knees curled up

to my chest

my arm trembles

although this isn’t

the first time

and it won’t

be the last

by now

this should

feel normal

no thinking involved

just do

think later

I tell myself

I’ll stop

when I want to

every day

that passes

is deemed the day

I’ll finally

not do it

but there’s

no other way

to take away

the pain

as the world

destroys me

I need

to destroy something

the only thing

I can actually destroy

is myself

my eyes close

metal against flesh

just a little

less space

and they’ll meet

since I’ve done this

so many times before

this time

I won’t

feel a thing

the blade sinks

into my arm

I was wrong

I still

feel something